Hello,
Thank you for joining us in our Parent Consulting Circle on October 1, 2025. Below we have a general recap of the discussion, resources mentioned during the session, and additional ideas and information based on the topics discussed.
Twice-Exceptionality and Sleep: The first question of the session was from a family that was struggling with their 2e six-year-old’s sleeping habits and schedule. They said that she prefers to stay up late. The parents also mentioned that they are interested in moving bedtime up earlier.
To begin, it’s incredibly common for PG/2e families to have difficulties around sleep. One reason for this is that PG brains thrive on novelty and complexity—going down rabbit holes and looping around subjects. The Family Services team wrote the article, “The PG Brain” to explain this in more detail. Having a brain wired to make connections can make it difficult to wind down for the evening and fully relax into sleep. In addition, during the second “sponge phase” of brain development (which starts around age 7), many PG/2e families remark that their children seem to have boundless mental energy—literally soaking up information like a sponge.
During the conversation, a few suggestions came up for helping your Young Scholar lean into rest and sleep:
- Learn what tiredness feels like. Some Young Scholars need help feeling the cues that their body is sending them. Modeling your own thought process around sleep can help improve interoceptive awareness in this direction. You might choose to say something like, “I can tell that I’m extra tired today because my eyes feel like they just did a workout. They are heavy, and it feels better to close them.”
- Create a rhythm using environmental cues. Many families find that having a rhythm can help Young Scholar’s bodies to give them more tiredness cues. Some suggestions to incorporate into your evening routine might include:
- Dimming the lights or turning off overhead lights and switching to lamps in the living spaces and bedrooms a few hours before bedtime.
- Ending the day with a calming activity that helps the brain to relax rather than rabbit hole. For some Young Scholars this might mean quiet reading time (though, for others, that’s a one-way ticket to staying up all night imagining), so it may take a few attempts to find what works for your Young Scholar.
- Fuel the body to reset. Some families find that having a bedtime snack can help their Young Scholar to stay asleep longer because they are fueling their body right before bed. Other families might tie a snack or drink (like herbal tea) to the sensation of feeling tired or relaxed. Over time, this routine might help the Young Scholar to relax into their bedtime rather than fight it.
- Adjust the waking rhythm to assist with sleep. Some Young Scholar families find that adjusting the wake-up routine can help with getting to bed later that same night. For them, going outside and getting natural light as soon as possible upon waking can help the body to transition the cues from resting time to waking time—like making the eyes feel more awake and starting to process sensory inputs. In turn, the body’s natural circadian rhythm may learn when rest really is—at the end of the day when the muscles fatigue. You can read more about the benefits of natural light in the morning here, and you can read a Neurodivergent clinician explain sleep rhythms here.
In addition, many families find that explaining to PG/2e children why our bodies and brains need to sleep can be helpful. Your family doctor or pediatrician likely have resources or explanations of sleep that can help your Young Scholar to understand the biological necessity of rest and sleep. Understanding the why behind actions can make Young Scholars more agreeable, even if they still express hesitation.
It’s also worth noting that this has been an increasingly common subject in our community. This thread in the Davidson Exchange has several additional resources and suggestions around Young Scholars and sleep—and proves how ubiquitous these conversations are. Many of the families in that thread also consult their family doctor to rule out any conditions or factors that may impact sleep outside of the discussion here. In addition, there are tips on that thread about moving bedtime and finding a “sweet spot” for going to bed.
Finally, the Family Services team recently finished How to ADHD by Jessica McCabe. That book has an entire chapter called, “How to Sleep.” In it, McCabe (who has ADHD herself) does an exceptional job at outlining the reasons that neurodivergent people struggle with sleep, tips for improving the relationship to sleeping, and strategies for sleeping better. Even when ADHD isn’t part of anyone’s profile, the tips and anecdotes shared are likely to resonate with many neurodivergent families.
Differentiation without Bringing Attention to the Student (ELA): During the session, another family asked about how to support their nine-year-old in the following situation: The student is in a self-contained gifted classroom that is still following grade level curriculum. He struggles with anxiety and “doesn’t like school.” He also doesn’t want to be singled out by the teachers for anything—good or bad.
This is a common situation that many Young Scholar families find themselves in. Boredom (even in gifted programming) is unfortunately common, and students often don’t want to feel singled out from their classmates/peers. They don’t want to do extra work compared to everyone else, which can feel like a punishment. So, where’s the balance?
Laurel offered several suggestions during the session:
- Leveling up in spelling: The teacher can prepare a list of “challenge words” that your student is not tested on. Instead, he’s free to explore the etymology and history of those words as sort of a side project. Any work associated with this can be handed in quietly with other work, so no additional attention is on the student during class.
- Reading comprehension: If a Young Scholar’s class does free/silent reading time, this is one of the easier places to level up. Choosing higher level readings can add challenge to a class. In addition, similar to spelling, the teacher can prepare more detailed/challenging questions to answer about the books. The student and teacher can go as deep with this as they feel like, but the point is getting richer conversations happening around higher-level materials. If you need help choosing books for your Young Scholar, you might consider asking your school’s librarian, your local public librarian, or using a resource like the Lexile search.
- Writing: In writing, the biggest way to level up is to get more detailed feedback. This is, again, something that can be done without other students necessarily noticing. The teacher can provide more detailed feedback on assignments, or the teacher and student can use a rubric that they come up together to help the student build their self-reflection skills in this direction. Ian Byrd, former gifted educator, has written about leveling up students’ writing in a few different ways. “Giving feedback when the work is great” addressed a common sticking point for talented writers—getting feedback on work that’s already good. “Don’t say ‘Great job!’” addresses how to praise a student, and “Feedback: Go Beyond Typos” discusses how to discuss portions of the piece of writing without nitpicking.
Differentiation without Bring Attention to the Student (Mathematics): The family from the previous question also asked about mathematics. They mentioned that their Young Scholar’s “mistakes” in math often consist of not showing his work.
First, it’s worth noting that making the mistake of not showing work is incredibly common in the community. Gifted students often have brains that work so quickly that it actually means slowing down to write all of the steps out. In short, their brains often work too quickly and divergently for the likes of a school assignment. In addition, if a child knows the answer to something almost intuitively, it’s difficult to get them to reflect on how to solve that problem. “Why Won’t My Child Show Any Work?” from the Art of Problem Solving, an organization that writes math curriculums for advanced students, details this experience more.
One of the strategies that Laurel mentioned is to develop your child’s metacognition skills, that is developing their ability to think about their thinking. Along those lines, the following articles may be helpful:
Overall, many gifted students may benefit from discussing what learning actually feels like. Many gifted students, because of the implicit and explicit messaging they receive at school, equate learning with doing well (or maybe perfectly) on assignments. But that’s not when learning happens. Learning happens when you are trying and failing and trying and failing and then trying and doing maybe a little better. If you would like to have this conversation with your child, you could use the TED Talk, “How to Get Better at the Things You Care About.”
Advanced Placement (AP) Classes and Honors Classes in High School: One family asked several questions about AP classes during the session. In short, they wanted to know if honors and AP credits will transfer if the student decides to change schools in high school. In addition, they were looking for the most up-to-date AP policies for their student who is under 13. Finally, they also wondered if other families had experiences with independent studies.
In general, there is no standard for transferring honors credits between high schools. Usually, schools within the same district or state are agreeable to transfers, as they have a similar agreement to the Honors-To-Honors Transfer Agreements that colleges have. If your student is transferring honors credits to a school in a different district or state, however, then there is not a standard or common practice. Some schools are more agreeable than others.
With regards to the most up-to-date AP policies, you can read about them here and here straight from College Board. In addition, we’ve discussed Advanced Placement courses in the Ask a Family Consultant post, “Advanced Placement Courses and College Readiness.”
Finally, independent studies are a common educational choice for Young Scholar families. The Family Services team created the Independent Study Guide for Young Scholars for families who want to explore this option.
Transitions to Kindergarten: The next question of the session came from a family describing their Young Scholar’s transition to kindergarten. They mentioned that this environment is very academic in comparison to the Young Scholar’s play-based preschool. In kindergarten, the Young Scholar is doing a lot of worksheets. In large lessons, the student appears to not be paying attention but then knows the answers to questions when asked. Additionally, the student doesn’t seem to have any issues when interacting one-on-one with the teacher or during private lessons outside of school. The parents are wondering about what’s at the root of the classroom issues and how do to support a student in this situation?
Because of student doesn’t seem to have issues in other environments or situations, this doesn’t necessarily point to an attention issue. Instead, this may point to an engagement issue—meaning the student is struggling to connect with the material presented. Engagement issues are one of the most common conversations that the Family Services Team has with parents.
“The PG Brain” article mentioned above provides a more thorough overview of the inner workings of the brain of your Young Scholar. But let’s pull out some specifics about the transition to kindergarten and how that might be impacting your student.
In this question, the family mentioned that when they asked their Young Scholar about school, the Young Scholar is interested in playing. In some sense, this makes sense based on the fact that they just came from a play-based schooling environment. In their preschool, learning happened primarily through experience, where their brain had a lot of different details to focus on and understand. In addition, preschool environments are less rigid—with lots of playtime—as that’s one of children’s first experiences in a schooling environment. As your student started kindergarten at his new school, he likely noticed that the teachers had more expectations, he had to follow more directions, and he got less choice about what was done during the school day. All of these factors can make the transition from preschool to kindergarten rougher.
Below are a few resources that might help you to explain this situation and advocate for a different arrangement for your student (if desired):
- Imaging the Ideal School Environment is an activity that is meant to be done with your Young Scholar to help you get an idea about what their ideal day at school really is. As the parents mentioned, this student is really interested in playing all day. So, one way to spin that based on what your son is specifically saying, is mentioning something along the lines of, “My son and I recently did this ideal school day activity. During the activity, it was clear that he’s really interested in a supportive, positive environment to express himself. In addition, he’s interested in experiential learning—he loves when he gets to try things out and tinker around.”
- “Paving the Path for Meaningful Engagement for High Potential Students” is a comprehensive article on the topic of boredom in PG/2e students. In that article, there are a few tools to help parents track the engagement of their Young Scholars, as well as how to share the results with schools.
Math Enrichment for Young Scholars: The next question in the session came from a family looking for math enrichment. Specifically, they are looking for some content that isn’t traditionally in a high school or college math curriculum.
Math inclined Young Scholars are in good company here! Since there are so many mathematically inclined students, here are just a few resources from the public website to get you started:
- Mathematically Gifted Students: A List of Resources is a list compiled from suggestions from other Young Scholar families over the years. Please note that the Davidson Institute does not endorse any specific organization or resource; this list is meant as a starting point to help you find what might be a good fit for your student.
- “Eight Considerations for Mathematically Talented Youth” is a few years old, but the article still has a useful conversation about what to consider when supporting a mathematically inclined Young Scholar.
- Many families are looking for alternative classes that their Young Scholar can take, either for class credit or for enrichment. Many families consult the Online Math Comparison Chart to help them look for options.
One of the go-to resources that families use for diving deep into mathematics paths and learn more about options for students is Developing Math Talent by Susan G. Assouline and Ann Lupkowski-Shoplik. In addition, in 2024, as part of the Understanding the Profoundly Gifted Path series on talent development, we ran a session on Talent Development in Mathematics.
Additionally, this is an incredibly popular topic on the Davidson Member Community. You can find threads that discuss math enrichment here and here and here (just to showcase a few). In addition, in the past, Young Scholars have contributed mathematical writing to the Real Deal Math newsletter.
Math Enrichment in School: Related to the last question, another parent shared their Young Scholar’s current situation. They said that their student is being offered a once-per-week pullout to accelerate to the 5/6th grade standards. The rest of the week, their student is being required to participate in their age-based 3rd grade math curriculum. Despite parent efforts, the school isn’t budging, and the school is threatening to remove the pullout if the parents escalate their concerns to the district level. But the student remains incredibly bored in class.
Many of the suggestions mentioned above may also give this family some enrichment ideas for their student. But, to focus in a bit more on how to advocate for student engagement in the classroom, let’s talk about a few more resources.
As this family is in the midst navigating this advocacy situation, these resources include articles with general suggestions for language use, ways to prepare for meetings, and tips for working with your educator team:
PDA, Divorce, and Family Dynamics: One of the questions in the session came from a family dealing with a sensitive situation. The parents are divorcing, and the Young Scholar has PDA tendencies. This parent is particularly worried about the fact that they’ll only have partial custody, so the parent is worried about intense emotional fallout and the dynamics with the Young Scholar’s younger brother. The parent also said that the Young Scholar is slowly unmasking in play therapy but has witnessed some challenging situations at home.
In the session, other parents were quick to jump in with support—showing what a kind and resilient community this parent has here. One family mentioned that a therapist specializing in trauma-informed care might approach this situation carefully and thoughtfully. Someone mentioned that the organization WomenSV and the Peaceful Parent Happy Kids website, which have several resources relating to divorce.
We often say that parenting a PG/2e child isn’t for the faint of heart, and, in sensitive situations like the one this parent shared, that often feels almost painfully true. But there are other PG/2e families in our community who have walked the path of divorce and co-parenting before. Asking for support at this stage shows care, attunement, and a desire to remain connected to their children as life majorly changes.
For everyone coming to the recording of this event and looking for resources, we wanted to share some basic terms and resources so that we’re all on the same page. PDA refers to Pathological Demand Avoidance, but we find Pervasive Drive for Autonomy a more helpful framework for understanding this profile. PDA can be part of the developmental profile in Autistic, ADHD, and other neurodivergent individuals. PDA North America is one of the primary resources for families supporting PDA children in the United States.
There is little research on PDA in the United States, with PDA North America trying to fill that gap as we speak. Where the research may not yet exist, there are plenty of parents sharing their own PDA parenting strategies and journeys. Amanda Diekman, who is parenting PDA children in the US, wrote the book Low Demand Parenting partly to share with others—and partly as a lifeline for connection to her community. In the book, she shares many strategies, specifically about how to communicate with PDAers. Linda K. Murphy shares similar and complementary strategies in her book Declarative Language Handbook.
This parent has already begun using low demand parenting strategies and declarative language. They were wondering if families had specific advice for navigating this type of transition. Laurel did share some things during the session:
- Think through possible triggers. As their parent, you might already have some idea of what may upset or trigger each of your children during this time. Some things may be a trigger for both children, some things may only trigger the non-PDA sibling, and some things might only trigger the PDA child. If this situation is triggering for all involved, then you, the parent, might also have triggers to learn and watch out for. Having an awareness and understanding of what things might raise the temperature on everyone’s nervous system is the first step—especially in escalated moments. This article on low demand parenting has an exercise that can help you uncover demands that your Young Scholar is up against, helping your awareness of their environment. Other families try a sort of “challenge” where the parent doesn’t ask any questions to a child for an entire day. This can illuminate new, creative ways of communicating about difficult moments.
- Model your understanding of the spheres of control. Equalizing behaviors, like the parent is worried about, are often a coping strategy when there is a perceived (or real) loss of control. Modeling out loud what is and is not in your control and how you’re processing that may help your PDAer build their toolbox. That modeling might sound something like, “Now that we live separately, I don’t control what goes on at [parent’s] house. In this house, we all have our separate devices so we can all watch TV as parallel play. Since we don’t all like the same things, that’s one way that we can all get what we want without someone else having to sacrifice.”
Alongside this, it may be important to model self-advocacy skills to your children as well. PDAers are often fierce self-advocates, but ensuring that their sibling can also stand up for their own needs, wants, and preferences sends the message that everyone’s voice matters. For more discussion on self advocacy, check out the following resources:
- Make the expectations and demands at your house clear—and drop them where possible. As alluded to in the previous point, during a shared custody situation, each parent can only control themselves—as frustrating as that might be. Since PG children often thrive on having as much information about a situation as possible, outlining the expectations and demands that you do have in your house might help them to understand. In addition, since you can’t control the other parent’s household, you can be intentional about dropping demands at your house to accommodate your children’s stress levels.
- It’s important to note here that dropping demands—particularly during a major life transition like this—isn’t the same as ‘giving in’ or ‘spoiling’ the child. It’s not an attempt to pit parenting style against parenting style. The hope that others have when doing this is that their PDA child will regain their sense of safety, security, and autonomy. In her book, Diekman explains that she knows that things are in a good spot when her expectations meet her son’s capacity. Maybe that’s a flexible goal to adopt for your time with your children.
- Make time to connect separately with each child. While this parent didn’t explicitly say it, many PDA parents worry that if the PDA child is equalizing against the non-PDA child, then eventually the children will perceive a favorite. To reinforce the individual and unique love for each child, it might help to find something that’s your “thing” with that child. It might be a moment with warm drinks in the morning watching the sunrise, or a dance party on the way home from therapy, or a shared hobby. It doesn’t have to cost money; the main thing is about your grounded presence and non-judgement during these 1-1 moments. Activated PDAers might need something less direct—dropping off a safe food to them in their bed or playing their favorite song in the car.
- Make time for the siblings to connect with each other. Equalizing behaviors can make the person on the receiving end feel disliked, controlled, or ostracized by the PDAer. Equalizing behaviors are often a source of pain and shame for the PDAer themselves, especially when equalizing is happening against loved ones. If family closeness is important to everyone, then making space for repair and reconnection after moments of equalizing is crucial. Some siblings enjoy learning something new together, while for others that itself is an equalizing trigger. Some siblings reconnect through parallel play (doing independent activities in a shared space), and for some siblings sharing the space at all is a win. If you see either of your children making a bid for connection, lean in and encourage their sibling to lean in as well, even if it’s unconventional.
- In Low Demand Parenting, Diekman describes a “choices board” of repair for after moments of meltdown. Perhaps, over time, something like this could develop between the siblings. Each sibling could have their own board where they are able to choose a method of repair with their sibling. Of course, we don’t know your children, but some squares might say things like, “Smile at [sibling]; Tell a joke to [sibling]; Go on a family walk and look for things that remind me of [sibling].”
- Ritualize the transition. Transitions, like in a shared custody situation, can be a trigger for PDAers—especially if it’s court ordered and they have little to no say in the matter. By creating a ritual for the transition, you can help everyone in the family (including yourself) can have a moment before jumping right into the hustle and bustle of home. This ritual doesn’t have to be expensive, doesn’t have to take a lot of time, and the main purpose of it is to act as a lighthouse in choppy waters: waiting and guiding the family ashore. If picking them up to come to your house is rough, maybe you curate a special playlist of songs to help everyone shake it out on the drive. Maybe, the first night that the children are at your house for the week, you spend a bit of extra time watching them game in the evening—catching up on everything you missed since last time.
In addition, some professionals in our community have shared their thoughts on similar situations, even if they aren’t specifically talking about PDA children:
Since you’re in good company here, you may consider posting on the Davidson Exchange about this situation. Other families may have some tips, suggestions, or things they wish someone told them during their own divorce.
Finally, another parent shared some information about the emotional fallout that their Young Scholar experienced in this Ask a Family Consultant post. Every Young Scholar is different, and Young Scholars respond to trauma and transitions in different ways. This discussion shares details on emotional regulation as well as some additional resources that divorcing families may benefit from.
Family Dynamics and Self-Regulation: During the session, another family asked a family dynamics centered question. This parent described that their partner has a very short temper when it comes to their 2e child, and, despite reading all the books and understanding the strategies, the parent struggles to access those during moments of escalation. During the session, it was said that this parent tends to use absolute words when they are escalated, leading to further escalation throughout the house.
It's worth saying at the beginning that this is a challenging dynamic. It’s challenging when your partner and your child seem to be playing different games, rather than being on the same team. Let’s dig into this situation a little bit deeper.
During moments of escalation, some parts of the brain go “offline” to make more room for the biological decision of fighting, flighting, freezing, or fawning. High level thinking—like impulse control, executive function, and self-reflection—decrease so that a person can return to a “safer” place. This system is designed to keep us alive, and it works well. At the same time, this system isn’t fine tuned to the stresses of daily life. There’s a joke that goes around that says something like: My nervous system thinks I’m running into a tiger, when really I’m just trying to send an email! But there’s some truth to that: Our brains are programmed to keep us alive, and that system is triggered by stressors. All of that is to say, even if your spouse knows the strategies and has read the books, it can be difficult to implement in the moment.
This is happening in children as they become dysregulated, but it also happens with adults. In Low Demand Parenting (mentioned and discussed above), Diekman explains that before children fully develop their own prefrontal cortex, they literally borrow (via mirror neurons) from their parents. So, this can help explain the cycle that you may be seeing at home. As your spouse becomes more dysregulated, that creates a positive feedback loop—dysregulating others in the house who are relying on their parent to co-regulate with them. Being around children does mentally exhaust parents—because their kids are borrowing their mental processes.
So, all that said, how can you help your spouse implement some of the strategies that they know and want in your family’s home? How can you support your Young Scholar in moments of dysregulation? How can you show up for yourself and your own nervous system during dysregulating moments?
- Take a deep breath. It may be the last thing that people want to hear, and it’s certainly easier said than done in the moment. Taking a deep breath can slow a racing heart, can put a pause on a racing mind, and can keep anger from boiling over in tricky moments. Some Young Scholars struggle to take a breath in heated moments, so as a family you can come up with a way of saying that needs to happen without triggering anyone if that’s the case (like using a hand gesture or even modeling breathing techniques).
- Call a flag on the field. You have the right to hit pause on anything that’s going on. Sometimes everyone just needs to reset for a moment before coming back together, or sometimes someone needs to sit this one out because they are too activated. Perhaps infusing some humor into the situation by tossing a flag (or scarf) into the air to signal a pause. If you do have a verbal cue, the shorter and snappier the better –as people in heightened states may not be able to process. You can pause the family by saying something like, “FLAG! Pause time! Let’s resume this conversation in 5 minutes.”
- Try an emergency break. If your spouse gets stuck in using absolutes, which then turns into an argument where the other party is arguing the nuances, then it might help to come up with an emergency break so to speak. That way, when your spouse says, for example, something about how the Young Scholar never leaves enough time to get ready in the morning (or however they are speaking), you can jump in with “BREAK! We’ve reached an all-or-nothing checkpoint.” Whatever your shorthand becomes, it’s a reminder to self-reflect for a moment before speaking and maybe infuse some nuance into the situation. Hopefully, this would give your spouse a moment to think about whether they truly mean never, or if they are overwhelmed with the drop-off schedule for school in the morning, or something else. As with many of the tips here, this might take some time to sink in. In particularly heated moments, any phrase may be triggering and/or have undesired effects. Maybe a visual cue would work better, something around the house that can be pointed at as a reminder.
- Seek someone outside of the house to talk to. Having an outside party, like a therapist, to talk to and support you, your spouse, and your Young Scholar may be a benefit. It can be uplifting and empowering to just have someone there to listen, not take sides or judge, and meet you where you are. One modality of therapy, called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), is specifically said to help clients develop a “gray area” in their black-and-white thinking patterns. Seeking out DBT focused resources may also benefit families who are stuck in absolutes. The tester/therapist map on the Davidson Member Community (DMC) platform is a compilation of therapists that have worked with other Young Scholar families. NOTE: The Davidson Institute doesn’t endorse any of the professionals on the list. We’ve simply compiled suggestions from other families.
It’s worth saying that these strategies aren’t likely to be effective 100% of the time. We all have bad days, get too stressed, or start reverting to old habits. Hopefully, some of the tips above can help you to create a supportive and nonjudgemental environment for your Young Scholars and your spouse. Over time, that safety might help to rewrite some of the scripts that your spouse jumps to as they escalate.
Supporting a Social-Justice Oriented Young Scholar: During the session, a family shared that they are looking to “level up” their support of their social-justice oriented Young Scholar without sending him into the depths of an existential or anxiety spiral. The parent mentioned, “He gets stuck in understanding why there are still issues when it is obvious to him how it should be.” Don’t we all?
For many families, it’s grounding to approach these worries through a lens of agency and hope. Questions like “Who is already working on this issue?” or “What progress is being made?” can help shift the focus from helplessness to possibility. You might start by exploring a magazine, podcast, or publication related to your child’s specific concerns. Investigating the topic together can spark curiosity, critical thinking, and open dialogue.
If your child already feels strongly about a specific issue—like environmentalism—you can help them act in alignment with that passion. For instance, some Young Scholars become vegetarians out of environmental concerns. If that’s not feasible for your family, your child could take charge of planning and cooking a “Meatless Monday” dinner each week. This type of consistent, meaningful action helps them feel like they’re making a difference—and builds real-world skills at the same time.
Volunteering is another powerful way to channel strong feelings into action. Whether it’s participating in a monthly river clean-up, joining a local initiative, or supporting youth-led causes, engaging with community efforts offers a tangible sense of purpose. When families volunteer together, it can create shared experiences that build empathy, resilience, and connection. Children not only see that their voice matters—they also learn that others care, too. This reinforces the idea that they are not alone in their efforts or their values.
For families seeking a broader framework, it can also be helpful to explore these big questions through spiritual, ethical, or philosophical traditions, whether secular or nonsecular. For example, during dinner once a week, you might choose a quote, parable, or question to reflect on together, like a proverb from the Bible, a story from Buddhist or Indigenous traditions, or a quote from a philosopher like Socrates or Maya Angelou. Then, you can discuss what it means to each family member and how it relates to your family values. For example, you could use Philosophy for Kids: 40 Fun Questions That Help You Wonder About Everything! (new edition out later this year).
In addition to exploring these ideas at home, families might consider connecting with religious or cultural leaders in your community. These leaders often have the spiritual and cultural wisdom to offer stories, teachings, and perspectives that can help your child make sense of difficult questions and emotions. Meeting with them, whether through community events, informal conversations, or open discussions, can provide a space for your child to explore diverse viewpoints and understand how values and beliefs guide people in responding to the world’s challenges. This connection can inspire meaningful conversations and offer your Young Scholar a grounded framework for processing their feelings and developing compassion and hope.
Reflecting on values, lineage, and legacy can give children language for their feelings and a sense of being connected to something larger than themselves. These conversations don’t need to be formal or doctrinal; they can be simple reflections about purpose, compassion, and the kind of person we each want to be in the world. To do this, you might start by sharing stories from your family’s history. For example, you could tell your child about a grandparent who showed generosity by helping neighbors during hard times, or an ancestor who stood up for justice despite personal risk. Explaining these stories not only connects children to their roots but also shows how values like compassion or bravery have been part of your family’s story.
In addition to these external strategies, it’s important to help Young Scholars understand what’s happening internally. You might explain that their heightened sensitivity is a part of their unique brain wiring. For example, you could say: “You know how your brain is wired differently from other people’s? One way that shows up is your strong sense of what’s right or wrong. That’s a real gift—but it can also make you feel more upset when things aren’t fair.”
This kind of framing can validate their experience and give them a way to talk about what they’re feeling. A go to resource to support this conversation is The Gifted Teen Survival Guide by Judy Galbraith. It includes a chapter called, “Whoa, That’s So Intense,” which offers language and strategies that can be adapted for younger children.
The Family Services team has talked with other families about this subject in the Ask a Family Consultant posts, “Moral Development and Sense of Fairness in PG Kids” and “OCD and Current Events.” In the first post, you will find several more resources for exploring morality with your PG/2e student. In the second post, you’ll hear how to balance some of the more difficult facts of life (like current events) with keeping a healthy mindset by practicing solidarity with different groups of people inside and outside of the home.